TAKE AWAY THE MICROPHONE AND IMMA SAY IT ANYWAY

long day.
slept at 3am cos i couldn't get to sleep for some reason.
i never had problems sleeping..
woke up at 7plus to follow my parents to city hall-went for SOL
super duper tired.
even now.
man.
40 day fast starts tmr.
as in.
40 DAY FAST FROM THE TELEVISION.

gosh.
GODPLEASEHELP.
seriously.
i really don't think i can survive, now that i'm not doing anything but staying at home. and WATCHING TV.
what am i going to do man.
no computer games.
man.
wait.
GARAGE BAND DOESN'T COUNT RIGHT?
YOUTUBE TOO RIGHT?
please say yes.

man.
how about going to the MOVIES??
urgh.
this will definitely be SUPERNATURAL MAN.

and. fast 1 meal a day.
can i snack?
cos i always do that.
and i have supper and tea (taking major snack times as supper and tea)
if i fast lunch can still snack during tea?
man.
i usually snack and WATCH TV.

okay nevermind.
it's ALL for GOD.

i'm officially starting the fast tmr.
since i've already watched tv and ate (cannot fast dinner)

watching tv online also cannot right?
HOW ABOUT HEROES?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
and.
AMERICAN IDOL?!?!?!
i wanna watch danny perform.
the seth lookalike.
hahah.
and many others who are SO GOOD.
man. i'm starting to complain and i have to STOP.

what if i record the shows and watch them 40 days later?
what if i'm on the bus and the TV MOBILE thing is on?
huh huh how?!

anw.
i really hope people don't read my blog.
it's almost like a "let go of things" place.
i really wanna let things go here.
but. aye never mind.

anw. it was steph and me at service today.
wow so surprising.
lynette was the only one who actually took the courtesy to sms me, telling me that she would not be coming for service.
besides gina.
she also listed the people who weren't coming (all except steph)
that's how i found out no one was coming.
even the one who was supposed to meet us didn't tell me she wasn't coming.
so. whatever.
then apparently jan sent me an sms telling me that she and jas loo were gonna sit with us, but i didn't realise that my phone turned off by itself again. so duh i didn't read it.
sat with steph and saw cass (from TK sailing), and asked her to sit with us since the 2 of us were occupying the whole row, and they were trying to get seats anw.
she wanted to sit beside me, so of course, i switched places with steph.
halfway during worship jan and jas came.
went into the row, then went out like 10s later or smth.
steph and i were like o.o .okayy.
then she receives this sms from jas saying
1. they're super pissed
2. they've left hall 10

steph replied. duh. and asked like. how come?
it said smth like don't know what "ask the culprit sitting beside you......." smth smth. (referring to me. duh. btw. i've got a name.)
then i realised my phone was off. switched it on and saw the sms.
then i realised.
obviously, i replied. apologised for (thinking back now i don't know what for) it and said that my phone turned off by itself.
and she apologised for me GETTING THE WRONG IDEA.
haha..?
me.wong idea.
right.

btw. she smsed me. once. ONCE.
NO CALL, NOTHING.
now. i really don't care if any of ya'll read this cos i've been wanting to say it for the longest time.
to think i even felt that i was being selfish or smth.
but this is it. (applies to ALL. i'm not picking on anyone.)
i have to state that befor i get into an UNNECESSARY AND STUPID MISUNDERSTANDING which are ever so common in the cell with whoever.
i've been getting seats for the cell since EVER.
of course jas low too when she was still here.
yeah, i did it on my own accord.
but do not EXPECT me to get them for you ALL THE TIME.
it's definitely fine if you're OCCASIONALLY late, and call/sms someone to save a seat for you, but what's not okay is when the latecoming is no longer occasional and it's not as if you're late cos there was some jam or even if you woke up late.
don't have the BASIC COURTESY by smsing if you're not coming, and worst still, cannot be contacted.
when you arrive unannounced, you expect whoever's there to have a seat for you.
if not, you get pissed with whoever and walk out of service.
the best part: sms saying I'M SUPER PISSED AND I'VE WALKED OUT OF HALL 10.
HAHA.
THAT'S FUNNY.
wonder why you waste your sms.

so please don't EVER count on me to save a seat for you, for i am afraid that I MIGHT FALL SHORT OF THE HIGH EXPECTATIONS YOU HAVE PLACED UPON ME.
and don't worry about saving a seat for me.
even when i'm serving for 3rd service.
it's okay if i've got no seat with ya'll.
it'll be good if i do.
but after blogging so much and explicitly about this, it'll be a miracle if i'm not hated.
so.yeah.
btw.
i don't mind sitting alone.
used to it anw.

really tired of putting up with people's nonsense.
so much of it.
not saying that i don't have nonsense.
in case i get accused of I DON'T KNOW WHAT.
you know what.
it really sucks being a high S.
where i really try to accomodate everybody and make everybody happy, even though i know itsa impossible to do so. it's my nature. what do you expect me to do.
sometimes i really wish i was like asher.
high D. not saying anytihng bad aobut him. it's a compliment rather.
i'd rather be like him.

aye. i'm just really tired lah.
someone rip my heart out please.
so i won't feel bad about anything.
so i won't feel bad about EVERY DAMN THING.
as though everything is my fault.
tired.

i sound really mean but.
my birthday wish for this sunday is that NONE of you come for service.
except miss hendricks, of course.
so that none of you can even get a chance to spoil my day.
i'm serious.

but i know God wants ya'll to come.
thus i'm really trying to get that i wish statement out of my head.
but seriously.
don't bother saving a seat for me this sunday.
if you are going to, let me know.
but wait.
nobody reads my blog.
so i'll just wait and see.
but i really wish all of you don't come.
i don't want any celebration from ya'll.(not that ya'll even bother)
i'd rather not have any.
i find it'll be ever so F.A.K.E.
except again, steph.

i really cannot believe i typed all this.
i don't care what you think of me now.
just spare me.
please.

God.i.really.need.your.help.

it's been a long post.
glad you made it.

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